Not much money, oh, but honey? Ain't we got fun?

I've been reflecting on a wonderful coversation I had at the Whitley Bay Jazz Party with the wonderful Michael Steinman about positivity and my situation at the moment.

For now, let me be blunt. I am extremely poor, forced to live at home and every job I have applied for outside and inside the BBC has rejected me. Most days I am pestered to find work, and told how "things can't go on like this", day in, day out. I also have to listen to negativity on subjects like work, life, the size of the apartment and much more from mum.

But am I happy? You bet.

I have returned from the most thrilling weekend of my year. It was an absolute ball to be able to dance to the music that I enjoy, and to meet so many new friends and catch up with others. It made me forget about how difficult life is at the moment, and how it's a struggle to get any kind of work. Jazz music makes me happy. I tap my feet to it, I smile at solos and creativity, and it plays non-stop on my computer. I have met friends around the world, and now I'm starting to take on some of the burdens of the jazz party I enjoy so that it may continue. If it wasn't for classic jazz I would be as unremarkable as the next man on the street.

When I look at how things are, I really do believe that a different mindset makes all the difference, as Michael so wisely advised. It is extremely sad that my mum is so negative about a lot of things, but then she has lead such a difficult life so it is explainable. The longer that I live with her, the more I found myself being negative about my situation, but going to Whitley Bay changed all that.

I don't need a lot to make me happy. I don't need money, because I have so many wonderful friends. I buy records to share the joy with others around the world, and Whitley Bay reminded me just how important music is to keeping me going through this difficult time in my life - and how useful it will be to have this thing to take my mind off the gloom of daily life.

Whitley Bay was three days of sheer bliss, and I came back feeling so happy. I hope this feeling will continue for many months yet,  but as Michael advised - I just have to be optimistic about things. So the hunt for work continues, but with more of a smile on my face.

Happy times with great friends, Emrah, Pascale, and Bridget