The massive question mark in the immediate future

Looking at my calendar right now, there are a few certainties which will happen to me in the coming year.

I know that I'm going back to Whitley Bay Jazz Festival for more dancing, and general merriment. I also know that my dissertation is due to be handed in sometime around April, and that after that I will feel a sigh of relief. At some point I will also turn 21, and feel so old!

But beyond that, there is a big question mark. Methaphorically speaking of course, I'm not going to be physically confronted by this thing but it does start to loom now. For the first time in my life, I have had no direction, no idea what was coming next or where my life would go. For example, the following flow chart summarises my life to date:

School, I always knew I was going to go to 6th form >>>> 6th form, I always knew I was going on to university >>>> university, I always knew I was going to progress from each year with a bit of effort.

Now what? I have always been the person who plans ahead. For example, when I was in secondary school I knew that the bus to school would arrive at 08:01, and that our house was exactly three minutes walk from the bus stop - so I gave myself 5 minutes to be safe. I have many memories of shouting up the stairwell to Lucy to get ready because I always give myself so much time in the mornings...

But I digress. This small snippet illustrates my prediliction for planning ahead, and the prospect of leaving university into nothing does terrify me somewhat. My mum keeps telling me that I have to find a job, since it would be a strain to live with her again (and severely cramped) - so it does an an element of urgency to my search. With unemployment at record levels I do wonder whether I should wait out and spend my savings whilst looking for that perfect job, or take the first thing going in the hope it will give me cash until I find the right job.

I am planning to move to London. The capital seems to be calling me - for the music, the culture and all that's going on there. Now despite the seemingly negative tone so far, I do however have some confidence I will be able to land myself a good job. I can talk to anyone, and I'm sure I have a few unique aspects which would help me stand out at an interview. Failing that, I'll wear my black and white jazz shoes and hope they will be memorable enough.

If only it were that simple?

I'm getting eager to leave now

45 days. That's how much time I have left in the country. I'm actually getting impatient to leave now.

Ahead of me is 4 months in the United States. The calm of New Hampshire, the bustle of New York and the opportunity to see Vince Giordano with Geri, the excitement of visiting Gerhard in San Francisco and seeing the films in his cinema...wow. I know that my friends will eventually be sick of my America related facebook spam - so just a heads up for you all!

Unfortunately, life isn't all rosy at the moment. I've got 2 handins this week and one at the end of the month before I can begin preparation in earnest. I still need to sort out storage for my items, adaptor plugs, things to do on the plane, my leaving party...sigh. Life is very busy at the moment, but I'm hoping after this week things will be a little more relaxed.

This Saturday I'm off to London for the Al Bowlly tour - the first real event I've been to since I began to appreciate the great man. I've also been emailing his neice in South Africa which is amazing, I had no idea he had living relatives!

I'm just counting down the days now - because this is the place that awaits me...