While cleaning my room tonight I made quite an unusual discovery. When I put the folder back on the shelf in my cupboard, a small white envelope fell off the shelf. On the front: "To Jonathan Holmes. DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2012". I knew what this envelope was for, but had kept it sealed for the past three years.
Inside, was the emotional outpouring of a troubled 18 year old man - and reading it had all, the memories flooding back to me. I felt where the paper was rough after my tears had landed on it, and I remember sealing it all that time ago.
Inside, was the emotional outpouring of a troubled 18 year old man - and reading it had all, the memories flooding back to me. I felt where the paper was rough after my tears had landed on it, and I remember sealing it all that time ago.
"I write this letter to you in the event that when you open this, you will realise how far things have hopefully come. I consider tonight to be a low point in our lives".
I saw myself sat at the desk behind my door, writing it that night, and I remember why. Re-reading this letter was remarkably poignant for me. Mum had just gone through a messy divorce and it was causing friction in the household, something my 18 year old self noticed
"I just feel like a silent casualty in all of this"
Looking back, it was a difficult time in my life. I have no idea how I got through it all to be honest. It's fascinating how you tend to forget about whole periods in your life when things weren't the best. I read to myself why I was writing this letter, and I just sat at the end of my bed thinking about it. Why did I do this? Casting a message into the future from one particular night in my life. Why wasn't it something more cheerful? I'm glad to say that is all behind me and I'm not firmly forward looking in life.
When I wrote this letter, the situation was bleak - yet I kept hope. The last paragraph read:
When I wrote this letter, the situation was bleak - yet I kept hope. The last paragraph read:
"I am very glad that I have Lucy and my friends there to support me. Alas, I have run out of emotional steam. I hope that the future you reads this and laughs at how bad it was - because the future turned out to be alright.
From a 18 year old teenager, to the future me,
All the best,
J. Holmes
06/09/09
22:48
From a 18 year old teenager, to the future me,
All the best,
J. Holmes
06/09/09
22:48
I'm glad the future did turn out alright. I'm sure if the 18 year old me knew what would happen in the next three years he wouln't believe the change he went through.
I think he'd be happy his hopes came true.
